A mother and daughter share an unbreakable bond. Though tested many times, love connects the two unique women. Raising daughters in the digital age is a huge undertaking. But when driven by love and selflessness, we witness God’s impact on our daughters’ lives by raising them well.
We have different styles of parenting depending on our values and beliefs. It is important to start with a biblical foundation because parenting is by God’s design.
1. Provide a loving home
Our daughter’s first experience of love happens in our home. When they don’t receive it, our daughters seek love elsewhere. Studies show how being unloved as a child affects adult life.
A loving home is not a perfect home. Conflicts are inevitable and our daughters see how we respond to them. We don’t allow disagreements to get the best of our families. We love each other and make it work with God’s help. Raising daughters in an imperfect home but with a loving family gives her security. They are assured of the love regardless.
2. Keep the communication lines open
Communication is two-way, even with our children. We don’t do all the talking because we are the parents. Our daughters have a lot of questions and emotions to express too. But do we listen to what they are saying?
Often, we listen not to understand; we listen to respond. We don’t hear them because we are too busy solving their problem, correcting them, and telling them what to do. When our daughters reach their adolescent years they are confused and feel awkward. Our sweet princesses become moody and keep to themselves.
This is a crucial season that requires a different kind of mothering. They need empathy more than criticism. The only woman who could understand them was us. There are moments when they need a mom who can be a friend rather than a reprimanding mom.
When we know how to listen with understanding, they will feel safe opening up, asking questions, and sharing their thoughts. These are magic moments where we discover our daughters’ aspirations and uniqueness. We become that friend they never thought they needed. Then, we wear our mom hat back to advice and lovingly discipline.
3. Teach biblical womanhood
God did not make a mistake in creating our daughters as females. One way of raising daughters is to guide them toward God’s design of women.
However, biblical womanhood is not confined to becoming a wife and a mother. I agree with this article on Biblical Womanhood, which includes all women, even unmarried and childless women. Their lack of a husband or a child does not make them less of a woman. As mothers raising daughters, we accept God’s will for our daughters even if it does not include marriage and family life.
What do you remind them about women according to the Bible?
- God created them in His image (Genesis 1:27)
- They are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 13:14)
- God loves them (John 3:16)
- and many more
4. Support their talents and dreams
Raising daughters with intention also includes honing their talents. We need to help our daughters discover and develop the unique gift God gave them. One way to discover their gifts is to observe them at play or in school.
Are they gifted orators or dramatists? Do they have an eye for design and fashion? Are they contented sitting in a corner burrowed in a book? Does music complete their day? Do they frequent art supplies stores and spend hours sketching? Or do they spend most of their time outdoors and doing physical activities?
Our daughters also need time off from academics and pursue different interests. This is a way of expressing themselves and growing the innate gift from the Lord.
5. Train them in the home
Training our children to do chores at home should not be gender-specific. Gone are the days when women do all the work at home because they are women. House cleaning and cooking are not exclusive to our daughters in the same way as simple handyman work is limited to our sons.
This is where your husband, brother, or father gets involved. We ask them to teach our daughters how to troubleshoot at home. They can also be handywomen if they need to be.
When I was young, I used to observe technicians, carpenters, and plumbers when they worked in our home. Watching how they do things gave me the confidence to do simple work on my own. It saved me time and money and gave me experience with some dandy handyman work.
6. Be a role model
When our daughters were young, they would wear our shoes, put on our clothes, and pretend to be us because they wanted to be like us. Whether we intend to or not, we are our daughters’ primary female role models.
Such a tall order for imperfect mothers, isn’t it? You see, we don’t have to strive for perfection but focus on becoming better. Perfection means we have done everything correctly and there is nothing to improve. We all know that is not true. Unless we admit we are works in progress, our daughters will see that we are trying to better ourselves.
They will see that despite our mistakes, misgivings, and insecurities, we try to improve our relationships, work, and personal lives. Hopefully, when they experience similar issues in their lives, it will inspire them to become better too.
This is a special post because my resource person was my 17-year-old daughter. I asked her one evening how mothers can be good at raising daughters and she shared most of it on the list.
Are you mom raising daughters too? How do you know you are raising them well?