The homeschooling journey of our eldest child stands at a crossroad. Let me give you a background… When friends and family ask me how long I intend to homeschool the kids, I don’t give them a definite answer because I too have no clue as to how long. A very wise consultant advised me not to make long-term plans about homeschooling. As much as I want to go on until high school for both kids, I have to pause, ask myself, can I still press on? Every year my husband and I pray and deliberate whether to continue homeschooling or not. And we have been doing that for the past six years for our eldest child and three years for our daughter. The first homeschooler in the family will be completing his elementary years in March 2015. As I prepare him now for high school, I am having doubts whether home education is still best for the next season of his life. He has been showing signs of boredom lately. He wants to go out more and seek new things. Because of our limited budget I cannot enroll him in all the classes he wants. We can only choose one activity supplemented by the Awana Club for him and his younger sister. On my end, I have been busy lately because of the home business my husband and I opened. This also takes up so much time especially if I have bulk orders to fill. The holidays is one of the busiest times for us that’s why last year i had to go early Christmas break. Since I don’t have a helper with me to assist me, it’s just me and my husband for now, it gets pretty toxic in the kitchen. Read more about our Pickings food business and why we started it here. These two main reasons aside from some minor ones are have been playing in my head for weeks now. Also, I’ve chanced upon two homeschooling moms, one has introduced to homeschooling while the other is one of the pioneer homeschoolers in our church. I’ve learned that both have decided to put their incoming high schoolers to conventional school. To tell you frankly, I was not as shocked as I thought I would be but probably more of sigh of relief that maybe, just maybe the inner ramblings of my heart may be a call for me to let go too. This is an assumption of course 🙂 If you ask me right now, I am not certain whether homeschooling will be part of our eldest child’s life next year. A part of me wants to continue because I know it still is the best for my kids. Despite the challenges we faced daily I still want to see them discover knew things and have those aha moments with me. I still want to make sure they are not far behind with regards to academics. Character is still our top priority at home so we talk about bible verses and integrate their lessons with life lessons. But there is also that part of me that is willing to let go. Maybe I am no longer the best teacher in the next season of his life. My heart is so heavy when I think about it. I want to do the right thing. I want to do what is best for them. I want to do what God wants for them. I have already opened the idea of enrolling our eldest child to a conventional school and of course he does not agree at all. But what if our homeschool season is over? What if God wants both of us to move on? What if?
I am reminded by this passage in James 4 which says, “13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” On the other hand, I’ve known some families who have successfully taught their kids until high school and I really applaud them. That takes so much commitment, perseverance and determination. I know its not easy but they made it all because God was their strength. I don’t know if I am that kind of parent. Right now, I am preparing. I am doing my research, looking for schools and interviewing other moms who made the transition. I am preparing for the big leap outside the home. At the same time, I am motivating. I am focusing on what he needs to master this year as we prepare him for harder Math lessons. Encouraging him to write longer, meaningful compositions. Getting him curious about Life Science and be more observant of the things around him. Whether homeschool or conventional school, he has to be prepared and motivated. This is not an easy prayer item as some may think. That is why I am listening and waiting on the Lord. For a mom who has been doing it for quite some time, letting go will never be easy. Whatever God’s answer will be, I pray too that He will protect my heart and my child’s heart.
5 Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it, and he will. 7 Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for him to act. Don’t be envious of evil men who prosper. Psalm 37:5 and 7
To the homeschooling families out there, have you been at the same crossroad? Deciding whether to continue homeschooling or not? How did your decision affected your child and your family? Please do share in the comments.