I Regret Going Ahead of God

Have you regretted making hasty decisions? You know, you’ve been contemplating on starting something, going somewhere, spending money on a major item; a major decision that you’ve been considering for a long time.

But you figured, “I weighed all my options and I think God is telling me to go ahead and do it.” You’ve studied both pros and cons and excitedly agreed to what your heart has been telling you. You didn’t wait for God’s clear direction and said YES. You were happy at the onset but later on you realized that was not the way to go.

If you’re nodding in agreement then you and I have traveled the same road. my friend. I’ve made both major and minor decisions that became a burden not only to me but to my family as well. Do I regret making them in the first place? Well, yes and no. I’ll share with you in a while.

There has been a long-standing prayer item in our family. My husband and I have been asking God for provision, wisdom and perfect timing regarding a major, major purchase for the family. We believe it is a necessity and that it will definitely be put to good use.

So, a recent turn of events made us conclude that it’s “God’s time” to finally make that purchase. We came to this conclusion because of the increase we will be receiving in the next few weeks. We took that as “God’s provision”.

Having set our minds on purchasing, we spent time searching the internet for good buys. My husband and our eldest child were in it everyday. Seeing how much time is spent by these two browsing the internet troubled me. That’s all they ever do and talk about. They were so consumed by acquiring this thing that the Lord has impressed in my heart to take it slow, refocus and pray about it more.

I sought the Lord again in prayer. Yes, God may have provided the resources but did He also say its time? While this was happening, our mid year fasting in church commenced. I was so eager to be in God’s presence again and hear from him. I know my husband and I share the same prayer item and we both wanted clear direction from God.

During the fasting week, I looked at the life of Moses, who was considered God’s friend because of his “face to face” relationship with the Lord Almighty. He has seen first hand what the Lord can and will do for his chosen people. He was on the brink of seeing the extent of God’s promise to his people but his chosen ones were not responding appropriately to God’s goodness.

After rescuing his people from a life of slavery in Egypt, the Lord promised to bring them to a land flowing with milk and honey. The promised land was theirs for the taking because God said so. Despite witnessing the mighty power of God through the plagues and parting of the Red Sea, the Israelites showed their arrogance by living a life of disobedience and ungratefulness.

Then the Lord spoke to Moses, “Depart, go up from here, you and the people whom you have brought up from the land of Egypt, to the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, saying, ‘To your descendants I will give it.’ ² I will send an angel before you and I will drive out the Canaanite, the Amorite, the Hittite, the Perizzite, the Hivite and the Jebusite. ³ Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; for I will not go up in your midst, because you are an obstinate people, and I might destroy you on the way.” Exodus 33: 1-3

What is the Lord saying here? Yes, he will give the land. He will send an angel to protect them. He will take care of the enemies. But, the Lord will not be with them. I then saw myself in this situation. What if God says, “Go ahead and do what you want. Buy that thing that you’ve praying for. But that purchase will not be approved by me.”

Then, Moses boldly responds ¹⁵ Then he said to Him, “If Your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from here. ¹⁶ For how then can it be known that I have found favor in Your sight, I and Your people? Is it not by Your going with us, so that we, I and Your people, may be distinguished from all the other people who are upon the face of the earth?” 

I was reminded of the times my husband and I went ahead of God without seeking his approval. We have put our lives and the lives of our children in jeopardy. We have burdened ourselves to the point of living in fear and anxiety. We have become prisoners of our own wrong doing… all because we think we knew better and all because played God.

Too many times also our desires consumed us to the point of even twisting Scripture just to satisfy those selfish wants. We have missed the point at what God is teaching us. It’s not the blessing or the gift, but the blessor and the giver. It’s not about what we have or don’t have, but it’s what God is doing in our lives with or without the “blessings”.

The Lord spoke to my heart that Wednesday morning. He also reminded me about stewardship. Yes, we may have the money to buy things but that does not give us the right to spend it anyway we want. Even if it is a “need” in our eyes. The resources came from Him in the first place, so it’s just fair that we ask Him how to use it, right?

I shared my insights with my husband that evening and the Lord himself confirmed the same message to him. My husband shared that the Lord impressed in his heart that the timing is not right for the purchase. It will not help us at this time but make our load heavier. The untimely purchase will just wreak havoc in our already tight budget. The Lord blessed us with the increase not to spend but to enjoy and use wisely, not to overspend and live unwisely.

I am happy that we both received the same message though spoken in different ways. What’s more amazing is that after that revelation from the Lord, our son who was so hyped in the beginning was no longer spending time browsing for brands on the internet. His desire is still there but he is no longer consumed by it. We have momentary sighs but we know that the Lord has already spoken and that we just need to wait and not go ahead of Him.

In the end, we are grateful at how we experienced God’s intimately that week. Just like what Moses pleaded God, “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place.” We will no longer move unless the Lord tells us. We will no longer decide hastily because our hearts dictated it. It’s not that the Lord doesn’t want us to live comfortably  but He wants to protect us and show his love for our family.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that I have made a lot of decisions that I regret and not. The regret part is mostly because I was not grounded in the Word of God then. I didn’t have an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ that’s why I don’t know where to go and what to do. I made decisions on a whim or based it on what I was feeling that day. I regretted not having known the source of wisdom and I would have been spared from unnecessary pain and undue stress.

On the other hand, it became a way for me to realize that the so-called wisdom I had then was nothing compared the infinite wisdom the Lord gives those who seek Him. “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5 

If not for those lessons, I wouldn’t see that my strength, my will and my foolish heart cannot take precedence over God’s amazing plan for my life. He does have a plan for my life and I will let him go ahead and build it.

The mind of man plans his way,
But the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9