There are a very few moms I look up to who have successfully transitioned from being “just a mom” to following their passion in life. Their change was brought about by a longing in their hearts to do what they were created to do. Maybe it was God’s way of pushing them to pursue His purposes in their lives. I have connected with them in a way because I too am slowly transitioning from being just a mom. I realized that I am not only a mom but I am also a sister, a daughter, a friend, a mentor, a teacher, an entrepreneur and a lot more.
When I became a mother 11 years ago, I put on a new hat and assumed the role. There was no holding back because this was where God put me. It was the start of my season of motherhood and I have embraced it up to this day. But when the kids are asleep, chores are done and errands are ticked off the list, I am left with just me. This led me to question myself and God, “Is this ALL there is for me as a woman?” “Could there be another life outside motherhood?”
To underestimate the role of mother is not my goal here. As that viral YouTube video that honored moms, we do have the toughest job in the world. We are indeed the Director of Operations of our entire household and that’s a huge task for any woman. But we do it otherwise without day offs or monthly pay because we love our families and want to nurture them as much as time permits us.
Our lives changed dramatically after marriage and kids. The first 5 years of a child’s life is very crucial that’s why other moms gave up their careers eventually. Who wouldn’t? Time passes quickly and the kids grow up too fast. Soon, the “I love you mom/never want to leave your side phase” turns into “Mom. I have to go see my friends.” They assert their independence. They venture into the world sometimes without us. We are still their moms but we need to let go little by little. Suddenly, we are surprised how much free time we now have in our hands. So what do we do?
Do we drown ourselves in time-consuming hobbies that are not intellectually stimulating and/or emotionally draining? Do we run after useless pursuits? Do we let the time pass by without accomplishing anything?
What are we doing for “ourselves”? What are we doing to develop our individuality?
Do you love cooking, or aspire to prepare a decent meal without the helper? Then enroll in cooking classes or buy books that would help improve your cooking skills and practice. Are you an artsy/crafty kind of mom, take crafting lessons or art classes?
If you’re bored exercising at home, why not gather your mom friends and do a sport together or walk around the village every afternoon? Do you express yourself well in words, start a blog! How about volunteering in a community or church activity or show support to groups/causes you believe in? Be involved! There are a lot of meaningful activities we moms could get our hands into if we really want to. Or if you’re really up to the challenge, think about homeschooling your kids!
No one can take our role away from us no matter how old or how successful our kids have become. They will always be in our top three priority list. God being first and husband second, yes, in that order 🙂 But nothing wrong with improving ourselves and harnessing the talents or skills God has blessed us with. Let’s not waste our time and resources with meaningless treasures (as my friend puts it). We have endless opportunities out there if we are only willing to seek them.
But before you pursue anything, pray about it first. Ask God to reveal to you what are you really good at and if He wants you to develop that skill or talent. Ask Him for when is the right for time to pursue this. Ask for doors of opportunities. Second, seek husband’s opinion and your children. If husband is not open to the idea, listen to his thoughts and reason together. No need to fight about it. It’s a casual conversation between two level-headed individuals who love and support each other 🙂 But I know they will support you mom because they love you.
Have you heard of the Proverbs 31 woman? When I first read this chapter I thought it was all about how good she was a mother to her children and wife to her husband but after reading it again she is not your ordinary type of woman. Let me share with you verses 13-27:
13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm[c] clothes.
22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
Like what I always tell my kids, “We learn something new everyday.” So, what do you want to do, Mom? What skill or talent do you want to nurture and pursue in the near future?