Parents find themselves saying this often, “We only want the best for our child/children.” I too have uttered these words countless times especially when people ask me why I homeschool. The decision to homeschool was made years back because my husband and I believed that it was and still is the best for our kids. God has a design for each family and this was His design for us.
My husband and I had very high expectations from our first-born, Coby. We became obsessed at making sure he will be the kind of boy we want him to be. However, in our attempt to mold him, we not only turned him into a robot (which I think what were doing), we faced a blank wall. Conflicts were noticeable and frustrations arose.
I was verbalizing all these to another homeschooling mom/friend, Annie, over lunch. She empathized with me and shared some her own parenting breakthroughs with her son. I haven’t met her eldest son but somehow I found some similarities he had with Coby. They were both introspective and can easily express their feelings or opinions about things. Annie added that at 7-years-old her son already knew what he wanted to be and that was to become a Marine Biologist!
I was flabbergasted! At 7 this young man already had a vision of his future. Of course, I got jealous. Then Annie asked me about Coby, what does he want to be in the future. Ashamed, I responded with a long sigh and “I don’t know.” Maybe because Coby is still young, Annie reassured me. He is very interested in History and Science. He loves to talk and has an opinion about almost anything. He is also very observant and when something is amiss or new in his surroundings, he wants to share it with others right away.
Annie suggests since Coby is a thinker and very observant, why not let him write down his thoughts and questions in a journal or start a blog. He made his own journal last year and has written quite a few entries but maybe I have to encourage him to write be more intentional in his writing.
I am grateful to have gathered insights from Annie. First, I cannot put Coby in a box that my husband and I created by ourselves. God has made him so unique that no box can fit him. We can’t make him into a someone he was never meant to be. We can only support his skills and nurture his gifts. Second, I have to remove my own blinders and see him for who he is. I am still trying to get to know him and loving him the way he wants to be loved.
A few days after that was an aha moment. All of Coby: his gift of gab, his opinions, his observations, got me thinking, could the future Coby be a reporter/journalist/news anchor? When I shared my epiphany with Coby, he was all smiles. Eureka! We found it!
This was what I saw in him but then I have to lift it up to God. For he has planned Coby’s life from the day he was created in my womb. If He has other plans for him, I submit. Overjoyed that my blinders are now off and saw Coby’s complexities as a part of his being.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14
An added bonus to this was a change in his attitude about homeschooling. He is more confident and shows perseverance to completing his task. In fact, he has getting perfect scores in Math!
What do your kids want to be in the future? How do you support/nurture their dreams?