Jude AgbayaniMy journey through motherhood has evolved over the past 15 years, and I am enjoying this season that I am in now. The kids are now 15 and 11 years old. They are more independent and not as clingy or as needy as when they were babies. When I look at them today though, I silently wish I could still carry them in my arms. I secretly wish I could sing them to sleep and just cuddle them the whole day. Oh, but everything has its season…
Oh, no! Motherhood?
When our first child, Jacob was born, my world revolved around this handsome babe in my arms. I adored him so much yet I cringe every time he cries. As a new mother, taking care of him was quite challenging. But despite this, he was a very happy baby. He always had that big smile on his face and was always in a good mood even his Mama was at her wit’s end.
Three and a half years later, our second child, Jianne was born. A C-section was required to take her out but my husband and I were not prepared for such an emergency. But by God’s grace, all went well. She was exclusively breastfed and was attached to me 24/7. Everywhere I go, she had to be with me. I was working from home then, so she was attached to me via baby sling while I work in front of the computer.
Two kids and two very different experiences in motherhood. Both have challenging and joyful experiences that summed up my first season in motherhood.
Yes, motherhood!
Both kids continue to grow physically, which means they’re getting taller by the day and have developed healthy appetites. They have reached a level of maturity that they need for their age. They are more aware of the world around them as well.
Since 2015, our eldest child has been enrolled in a hybrid homeschooling program. I am no longer directly involved in his schooling but I still check on him daily. At times, I volunteer to help him but he assures me that he can do it on his own. He doesn’t need me anymore. In fact, he is always eager to share with me all that he has learned not only in class but also in his personal readings. His teachers have commended him for being a diligent and responsible student. Proud mom here!
Our second child has been exhibiting independence ever since. This is her second year to volunteer for Awana, a Bible-based club that meets weekly. She is again part of the Awana Music Team. Her exposure to music has inspired her to learn the ukulele and the guitar on her own. She just watched tutorials on YouTube and taught herself how to play. Her involvement in the ministry has opened her doors to meet new friends too. In fact, that’s one of the reasons why she never misses a day in Awana. She wants to be with her friends all the time.
Now, they have their own things to keep themselves busy. I miss the days where they wanted to be with Mama all the time. My husband and I always have them in tow. These days, I have to force them to tag along and I seldom win, unless I bribe them with food.
Keep on mothering
Gone are the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, the whining, and incessant crying, and the anxiety attacks when they get sick. The early season of my motherhood has passed. Whew!
If you have a baby or a toddler in tow and your hair never seems to get fixed, it’s okay. This season of motherhood will also pass. Yes, it will. Enjoy those crazy moments with them while you can.
The season of motherhood that I am in now is both a season of discovery for the kids and I. Because they are more independent, I can now go back to the things I used to do. I can rediscover my other skills or talents and develop them the way God had intended them.
Our kids are now in the same stage of developing themselves, getting to know who they are, and discovering the world all at the same time. They are slowly trying out their fresh wings. They are not yet strong but as they try it out, those fragile wings will gain more strength.
As a mom, this is the time I have to back away just a bit. Learn to let go, and watch them fly on their own. I will not be hovering over them but will be flying side by side. If they are weakened by the fierce winds, I will be there to encourage them to keep flying and hold on to what they know about God and themselves. If they get distracted by the things of the world, I will be there to gently pull them back and remind them of what is really important.
Whatever they become and whatever they accomplish, they will always have me as their number one fan. As they brave the world, I will also bravely embrace this new season that motherhood has given me.
What season are you in your motherhood journey today? Celebrate whatever season you are in, dear Mom. Celebrate Motherhood! Happy Mother’s Day!
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