Why My Daughter Wants to be on Facebook

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“Mama, can I have a Facebook account?” was the question asked by our daughter recently. When I inquired about her sudden interest with this social media platform, she never really answered my question. She added that she wants to share an account with her older brother.

That night after dinner, I told my husband about Jianne’s request to have a Facebook account. His immediate response was No! haha! That’s why kids call him strict 🙂

The following day, I confirmed with Coby if he did the request to have a Facebook account with Jianne. He said no and “is not interested in social media in any way” Excuse me 🙂

So, I asked Jianne again why she wanted to have a Facebook account and this was her reply. “I want to see what you see in Facebook because you’re always on it.” What???!!! As if somebody punched me in the face!

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Am I always on Facebook? I know that I am doing my best to keep away from FB for the past weeks or months. I even deleted the app on my phone so I don’t get excited when notifications come in. But I guess it was not working because my daughter thinks I’m always online.

Trying to defend myself, I told her the fact that I did lessen my FB time and when she sees me in front of the computer it’s either I’m checking my email, reading blogs or searching for something. But then again, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I do spend more time online than with her and her brother.

I noticed that she has been using the word “bonding” lately. She would say she wants to bond with me. When I ask her what she wants to do, she couldn’t give me a definite answer. She’s the hugger in the family and always clings to me. This is probably the effect of breastfeeding her for 2 years and nine months. Yes, I did count how long.

Because her Love Language is Physical touch and Quality Time, I realized that she didn’t want us to do something together, she just wanted me to sit with her as she watches her favorite TV show or watch her play on the iPad. And that’s what she asked me to do yesterday. We sat on the bed after lunch, she showed me all the games that she’s playing and wanted me to try them myself.

Another mom and daughter time we have together is bath time. At age 8, I still give her a bath. Before she heads for the bathroom, she will grab her bath toys and bathe with them. At first, giving her a bath was a chore, a duty I had to do. Later on, I realized this “ritual” has become special to me. When I’m busy shampooing her hair, she would ask her questions that would make me think long and hard for the answer.

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Yesterday her question was, “Mama, what if people can breathe under water? What will they be called?” I don’t know, a fish? “No! Merpeople? Merman, maybe? Aquapeople?”

This morning she asked me why her palms are “whiter” than her skin. The other day was “How do they cut trees so thin to make paper?”  Or “When can we have a dog?” “When are we going to get our own house?” Some questions I can give a scientific answer but for most of her questions, my reply would be, ” I don’t know.” Bath times have become special times with her because we get to talk more, laugh and just do silly things while in the bathroom. Did I mention that we dance in the shower too?

Most of the time we just cuddle (yes even in this heat) in bed. Time will not catch up on me. Our kids are growing in a blink of an eye. This tiny baby who used to be fully dependent on my milk and will go with me anywhere in a baby sling, is now a very independent girl. Soon, she won’t be cuddling with me but would be spending more time with her friends. Sigh…

So I asked her if do spend more time online that with her. Unfortunately, in her eyes, I do! Oh boy! I’m not justifying myself here but I have more time now because school is on break. I have no lessons to prepare, quizzes to check and projects to oversee.

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But I’m counting down the days before the school year starts. It will be busier because Coby will be going to a tutorial center three times a week for his first year in high school while I will be teaching 3 or 4 subjects at home. He will be partly homeschooled this June as we transition him eventually in a conventional school. So that means preparing lunch meals, going in and out of the house to bring him to the center, aside from teaching Jianne at home and house chores. Things are going to change in our household and I would probably have less time online.

So, my FB scrolls and interactions will be lessened very soon. But for the next two weeks allow me to savor my last days before the schedule gets hectic again… Truthfully, I do want to spend less time on Facebook. I feel so much time is wasted when I check on what’s new. In fact, my best friend no longer has an FB account and says, “My life is better without Facebook!” I really hope to commit to this in the coming weeks. …And to answer our Jianne’s question if she could have a Facebook account, definitely not!


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