Loving the Unlovable

Thursdays are my day off. This is the day I attend my BSF class, which I have been part of for 7 years, I think) and also the time to catch up with friends and most recently, start another bible study group with a group of lady friends. Since it’s my day off, I steer clear from the laundry area. Neither will I prepare lunch for that day because my kids and I have lunch at my father’s house which is like a day care for the kids 🙂

As soon as my husband leaves for work at 5:30 AM, I leisurely spend my mornings meditating on the Word, catching up on my reading or just read blogs online. I have to be in my BSF class before 9 am. My youngest daughter also attends BSF’s children’s program, so she tags along with me. This Thursday was challenging for me becauseI don’t like being late. Though in our country, being late is kind of acceptable and we even coined the phrase “Filipino Time” to justifly  being late. The phrase simply means, one is not considered late if he or she arrives 10 to 15 minutes after the time. (Not to embarass my countrymen, there are, however, changes in the society these days. Filipinos are now conscious of time and make it before the scheduled appointment. I hope more and more Filipinos would do the same. Filipino time is always on time. 🙂 )But we try as much as possible not to practice this. Neither don’t we want our children to grow up with this mentality.

So, anyway, I took my shower around 7ish and I started waking the kids up. I need at least 1 hour to prepare them for the day. I kept on prodding the two kids to wake up but they just snored at me. Precious minutes had passed and I was getting frustrated at their unresponsiveness and disobedience. Until it was already 8 am! I needed to use my angry voice this time for them to move. After a while they were up and a bit frantic because they saw the monster eyes pop out of my head! I had to nag them to run downstairs, take their breakfast and take a shower. For my older son, I told him to prepare his school things and place them in his bag. For the little girl, told her to choose her clothes and prepare her bag as well.

I don’t know what happened but somehow when you are pressed for time, these kids’ movements seem to be in slow motion! Hurry up! Hurry up! In fact, I didn’t need to tell them to speed it up because my facial expression and body language already expressed my anxiety.

We were out of the  house by 8:30. We dropped off my son at my father’s house without even saying goodbye to him. He sensed that Mama was angry, again. My daughter and I rushed to BSF. Traffic is usually bad on a Thursday morning,which is really bizarre for me. Why on earth are the roads packed on the day I will attend bible study but in all the other days of the week, traffic is smooth.

Thinking that traffic was going to bad, I chose another route to avoid being late. I was praying to whole time for the Lord to clear the roads and that my daughter and I make to class on time. God is good! We arrived at the church 5 minutes before the time. How did that happen?

We arrived home late that afternoon. I was on the internet doing something when Coby gave me a cup of tea with a pack cookies on the side. I was so surprised and touched by his gesture that I felt really bad because of my behavior that morning. I hugged him and thanked him for my snack. He said, “That’s for you, Mama, because you’re the best Mama!” Seriously? Was i the best Mama that morning whose eyes were glaring and lips pursed? I was really embarrassed.

Jianne, saw her older brother did and prepared her own snack for Mama too. A few minutes later, she called me downstairs to see her surprise for me. Tada! On the table was a cup of coffee, an apple, a bowl of cereal with milk and chocolate syrup on the side. You can sense this girl’s competitiveness. She wanted to outdo her Kuya every time.  Again I thanked her for being so sweet. And then she me to eat the bowl of cereal and coffee (cold coffee).

What can I say? It’s like a slap on my face. They still loved me inspite of the monster eyes and high-pitched voice. Their love in unconditional. I will still love you even if you are not lovable. I will still love you even if you hurt my feelings. I will still love even if…

It’s the same love God our Father gives us. Inspite of our sinfulness and our propencity to hurt him, He still loves us. We disappoint him but he still cares for us, still looking out for us and walking alongside us in our journey. I am wretched and undeserving of anything from Him but he chooses to shower us wiith unmerited favor, His grace.

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your  neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”
Matthew 5:43-48

For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16