A Forty-fied Woman

There was no fancy party. Nothing extravagant or out of this world themed celebration for my 40th year on this earth. It was like any other birthday. It was simple day of thanksgiving to God for capping the first 39 of my life with his love and mercy.  Family and best friends remembering my day is something to be thankful for.

Prior to celebrating D-Day,  I was sharing with my husband, Peewee, my thoughts about me turning 40. I was sharing with him some of 40th birthday questions: What will I do the rest of my life? Will I pursue the profession my parents want for me and the one I studied long and hard for? Will I take a different path and follow my passion and hopefully achieve the dream I wanted ever since the writing bug bit me. Or will I venture a different route with my husband and start a small family food business? Unfortunately, we were not able to continue our introspective discussion because we were just to sleepy and tired 🙂 Signs of old age haha

That weekend we had our regularly scheduled Discipleship group (D-group) in church. While doing our regular devotion, our leader asked us what our purpose in life was? Do we have life plan? I was fighting back the tears as he was asking away because I could sense God was impressing something in my heart that I really need to look at. He was using our D-group leaders to initiate a mini retreat for our group where our focus would be on planning our lives.

I never mentioned to our D-group leader nor his wife about my mid-life predicament. But hearing their planned retreat got me excited. I am praying that at the end of this sojourn I would be able to discern what direction the Lord wants me to take. Although, God will not be as specific as I want Him to be by telling me exactly, “You go back to being a dentist” or “Pursue a writing career.” What I know is that He has a wonderful plan for me and a purpose for my existence. I just need to be aware of his leading and follow the path He wants me to take.

I have blogged about my love for writing and sharing my thoughts on paper even at a young age. This is the path I wanted to take when I was younger but I did not get the necessary support I needed then. I was not also given sufficient advice from career counselors who could have suggested other alternatives for me and to top all that, I was only 16 deciding on my future.  And besides, I was too ashamed to show my writings to other people especially my mom, because I was afraid I would be scolded for creating teen love stories at the age of 11.  It was also during this age that my parents were having problems in their marriage, I didn’t want to add to their issues at that time.  So I shelved my writing pen and paper and pursued other things.

But then again, the Lord allowed me to shift to a different course and transfer to another school after a year in college. This time, I just obeyed my mother and followed the direction she wanted for me. I took the course, completed it, took the board exam, passed it and practiced my profession. Since 1998, I was doing the work assigned to me. I was treating patients at my clinic the best way I know how. Through the  years I have received positive feedback from patients but there were also occasions were I knew I was wearing the wrong hat. Overall, I continuously do it because I have to not because I love to do it. I wish I could have the same gusto and passion as my other colleagues have. Unfortunately, I can’t fake passion.

On the other hand, writing brings joy to my soul. Knowing that readers get to hear my story and be blessed by it is enough compensation for this wanna-be-writer-mom. Whether I’m blogging about homeschooling, my kitchen adventures or simply letting others see my life as a mom and a follower of Christ is already a blessing in itself because I know there is one soul that I get to encourage to be the best person they can be for themselves and for God. I am also hoping also that whatever they season in life they are going through, they can always find joy knowing that the God of heaven, the Creator of all things is willing to have an intimate relationship with them.  And that as a mom, a professional, a woman, we all need God. We all need a higher being who is wiser than us to guide us every day of our lives.

I am a fortified woman not because of what I did in my life but because of what the Lord has done in and through me. My mistakes made me wiser and more discerning while the hurts made me stronger and more forgiving. I am still imperfect, a sinner in this body but the love of Christ made me who I am today. I am forgiven and being transformed daily when I obey Him and His Word.

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Ephesians 6:10-17

How do become a fortified woman? How does the Lord help you to become one? I’d love to hear from you 🙂